Almost four years have passed since its debut and Animal Crossing is still a very popular title for Nintendo GameCube owners. Its adorable animal characters and evolving world make it a great game for kids and adults (well, some, I say) alike. But never, ever, under any circumstances play Animal Crossing with your husband. Take it from someone who has been there, some games are better left unshared.

If you’ve never played Animal Crossing and are a fan of ‘nice and simple’ games like Harvest Moon and Spyro the Dragon, this is a really fun game to play. You assume the personality of a boy or a girl who decides it’s time to leave home and hit the road alone. You somehow end up in a town inhabited by (talking) animals. It is a charming little town and you decide to stay. In town there is a shopkeeper (Tom Nook), who is also a slum landlord… er… landlord. He will be happy to sell you one of the four houses he owns in exchange for doing some odd jobs. By working hard, he will eventually pay off his house and can have an even bigger one built if he wishes. In Tom’s shop and around town you can find TONS of items and furniture to decorate. Funny!

After meeting her basic needs for shelter and a nice coffee table, she decides it’s time to meet her neighbors. Did I mention that they are talking animals? This city is a habitat for so many different types of wildlife that you wonder how they can coexist the way they do. They make it work and some eventually become their friends, or at least tolerated neighbors. You can visit their homes, give them gifts, or just hang out with them. You can even design clothes for your toon or an animal friend. Because every day in the ‘real world’ is also a day in the Animal Crossing realm (let’s say here it’s September 17th, it will also be September 17th in the game), there will be interesting things for you and your animal friends do. You can pick fruits, fish, collect butterflies, or attend a festive festival. There’s even a post office where you can write letters to the animals to tell them how much you love them so they don’t feel lonely and leave (it’s always sad when an animal feels abandoned and leaves town).

I happily played Animal Crossing for many months, enjoying the change of seasons and the holidays. There is no violence or crime in the world of Animal Crossing. The worst damage you can do to a resident is to hit him over the head with your butterfly net until he gets mad and storm clouds form overhead. It was a peaceful existence that he had with the animals and he cherished every moment. Until that fateful day my husband moved out.

My landlord had three other houses for rent, so I thought I’d extend the offer to my husband. He wanted me to share in the beautiful world that the animals and I had created. He should have known from the beginning, when the animals asked him what his name was and he replied with an idiot face that things would get ugly. But I’ve never been good at seeing red flags.

Jerk-Face worked hard to pay for his house. In fact, he had a much better house than mine in a matter of days. He campaigned for Tom Nook and I admitted to being a bit envious. However, he still hadn’t made friends with any of the animals and I felt he was missing out on the camaraderie of the town. I urged him to venture out and meet his new friends. Although four people can live in the Animal Crossing town, only one person can play at a time. I had a long week at work, so I told him that he was in charge of keeping the animals happy while I was gone. On Friday I asked him how things were going in the world of Animal Crossing. He smiled mischievously.

I had seen that smile before. We had played sims together for a while and this was the same smile I had when my sim girl got up and left my house to marry her evil scientist sim who made her work all day while he made potions. I think the scientist’s name was idiot face too. Why hadn’t he learned his lesson then?

I grabbed the controller and logged into my character. I quickly saw why he was smiling. All the animals brought me letters that Stupid-Face had written to them. They went something like this…
Dear cow… Sleep with one eye open, you stupid idiot. I’m going to have steak for dinner! mwahahaha… love and kisses, idiot

The animals also wore new clothes, exclusive to Jerk-Face. They were glowing red and black nightmares with images of demons and skulls painted on them. I looked at my husband and he shrugged.

But perhaps the worst thing he had done was chase the animals with the butterfly net all week, hitting them so many times that some of them left town without saying goodbye. He was quite proud of himself.

“What have you done to my people?!” I asked, wanting to find a butterfly net to bash him in the head.

I’ve cleaned up the rabble. reported happily.

My face reddened. The animals had co-existed together, but the whole town was in chaos because Stupid Face had moved on.

“You can’t play anymore.” I told him, comforting a camel. That would teach him to destroy my fantasy world.

“Thanks.” he said, kissing my cheek and heading over to his computer to fire up Grand Theft Auto.

I played AC after that, but it was never the same. I missed my friends who had moved away, and weeks later the animals were still bringing me the letters Idiot Face had written. With nothing to capture, beat, kill or electrocute, my husband had grown bored. Although we were both gamers, our tastes differed a lot in genres. He had tried mine, but in the end it worked his way.