Fortunately, the bride and groom planned their wedding for a time of year when the weather was still fine. That gives them the opportunity to throw a bachelor party for their friend at the soccer game. You guys are going to have a blast. What could be more fun, right?

Not so fast guys. The NFL and college teams are cracking down on binge drinking before game time. Drunken fans are no longer welcome in stadiums across the United States. They are checking people at the entrance more thoroughly than in the past. In some stadiums, there are even bailiffs stationed near the men’s room. They know that if you’ve been drinking too much beer, you’re going to be going to the bathroom a lot. These guys are too smart.

Being the wise guys that you are, some of you will still try to make it. You will pass the main entrance and find your seats well. Heck, one of you might even sneak into a little flask of some decent scotch. They will catch you though. You will get caught because drunk Bob decides to light a cigarette sitting in his seat despite the fact that the stadium forbids it. Some people really hate smokers.

Some fan sitting behind you will make a big fuss. He will start complaining to you or maybe even call a security guard. So, of course, Bob won’t be so cordial. Bob is going to use his biggest beer muscles of all the beer funnels they made in the parking lot. One thing leads to another and wham! You guys are kicked out of the stadium. Drunken Bob gets a free trip to the jail cell they have in the stadium just for guys like him.

Instead of heading to the club afterwards to watch the ladies dance, you guys will be trying to figure out how to bail Bob out of the jam. Then, she’ll try to figure out how to help him avoid a divorce once his wife finds out. Good luck with that.

Now, instead of having a happy memory that they can joke about for years to come, they’re going to talk about how much they hate the NFL and how bad it sucks that Bob’s life has gone downhill since his wife left him.

The days when NFL football was a weekly October fest are over. Maybe that’s why they charge ten dollars a beer now. Better think again before you have your friend’s bachelor party at a football game, especially if they are drinkers.