Why do married people cheat?
Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her and, abandoning all others, be faithful to her as long as they both live?” The groom replies “I will.” The minister then says to the bride: Do you want to love him, console him, honor him, and protect him, and, abandoning all others, be faithful to him as long as they both live?” The bride replies “I will”.
In my opinion, these are three reasons why married men cheat: ignorance, selfishness, and lack of self-discipline.
Some people do not know themselves, how they are connected and what can easily tempt them, so they cannot avoid such situations and fall like a game of cards. Some believe that they are so spiritual that they cannot be tempted.
The truth is that everyone is tempted. The fact that he is married does not mean that he will not find someone more beautiful or handsome than his spouse. You have to be prepared to deal with those situations when they occur and stick to your wedding vows. Some ignore the fact that marriage is “hard work.” You have to work at it, it’s an investment! Just as a businessman would take care of his investments, you must dedicate time, money and resources to bring life to your marriage and keep love alive. If not, you’ll get bored and start looking for thrills outside of marriage.
Some don’t know that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Totally different in the way they are wired. The man needs to study the woman and the woman equally. Understand the different languages of love, the emotional variations especially ‘during the time of the month’, the male ego and the need for respect.
The first 2 years of marriage is usually the teething period when the water is tested. Let’s see the real you, dating and courtship is often not reality, welcome to the real world. No two human beings are compatible, not even identical twins. The excuse that you are incompatible and hence the need to go out is a fallacy. It is the immaturity and refusal to commit in the relationship that makes people adhere to the incompatibility theory.
Marriage requires give and take, love, respect, effective communication, and the guts to weather the storm when it comes. If you think you just fall in love and hook up and expect a bed of roses, you’re in for a big surprise and early exit.
Marriage is sweet, but you have to know how to live it well. Roses have thorns, but don’t forget that thorns also have roses.
2. Selfishness and Greed in Sex and with Money.
The man just wants to unload without realizing that the woman also requires her need to be met, even if she takes the time to get there. Selfishness on the part of the man means that the wife is never satisfied and she leaves herself so open to temptation that the nearest male seems like a likely candidate. The same applies to the wife when she is not in the mood but the man is loaded and ready to shoot. You leave him open to temptation.
A wise woman would probably marry a man with potential and vision, a man who can take care of the family as a total commitment to family life. This is not the same as marrying a man with only dreams and sweet words. The dumb woman will definitely run after the next rich guy sweet talker when she finds out her man can’t take care of her.
3. Lack of self-discipline
Some people can’t control themselves. The site of a nipple or anything with a skirt sends thousands of volts to the brain and loses common sense. Those people always say it’s the devil. Tell me how the devil unbuttoned your pants and took off your clothes and the girl’s. Some girls can’t live without spreading either; even the brutal act of circumcision cannot save them.
Self-discipline requires a conscious and determined effort to do the right thing and to do it well even when no one is looking. It is very important that one remains chaste and pure for marriage. If while you were single you were moving from Peter to Paul or were one of those guys who said that good and mercy will follow me, you will find it very difficult to stick to a woman for life.
Self-discipline starts from your youth. No premarital sex, no nonsense, stay pure. Don’t buy into the lie that you need to take a test drive to ensure you’re sexually compatible before you get married. Again, no two humans are sexually compatible. You have to learn the skills, positions, and techniques to get to cloud 9 every time you do it in marriage.
If you invest in keeping your love life warm in your marriage, you will always be interested in your spouse, whether they are a size 6 or a size 40, if they have peanuts or a popsicle. Size sometimes doesn’t matter at all times. If you’re that worried, there are ways and things you can research or buy to spice things up. True love, wisdom, honesty and fidelity will always prevail.
There are faithful men and women in marriage, those who took their wedding vows and never looked back. A handful may be unhappy in their marriages, but there are those who are happy and express the joy of their marriage. You can possess all the right characteristics to remain faithful in marriage, the willpower and determination to remain faithful come from within and the reverent fear of Almighty God.