Like you, I often hear people say, “Oh, I’m under so much pressure!”

When I hear this, I usually ask them what is going on. And often the response is something like, “Oh, nothing specific. Politics, paying the bills, this cold can’t seem to get rid of. You know, just general stuff.”

What they really feel is stress, not pressure. Let’s see the difference.

Stress is like a gray, cloudy sky; it is a state of being. The pressure is like a sudden, violent storm; It is an event.

Stress is working for an authoritarian boss. The pressure is handing over the quarterly update report to that authoritarian boss.

Stress is having in-laws who don’t like you. The pressure is cooking Thanksgiving dinner for those in-laws.

So how can you tell if what you are experiencing is stress or pressure? Simply analyze your situation through the Three Criteria of a Pressure Point.

1. Importance of the result

If you don’t care about the result, there’s really no pressure, right? If professional tennis means nothing to you, then you don’t feel any pressure on the Australian Open result (if you are aware of it). But if you are Roger Federer and you are playing in the final of the Australian Open, you are probably feeling a significant amount of pressure.

Then Question no. # 1: Is the result important to you (and to what extent)?

2. Uncertainty of the result

Well, let’s say, once again, you are Roger Federer. Only this time, instead of playing in the Australian Open final, you’re playing player number three on the junior varsity team from Beaumont Middle School in Lexington, Kentucky. Even if, for some reason that is difficult to understand, this match is important, the result is never seriously in doubt. Result: you / Federer feel little or no pressure.

Question # 2: Is the result uncertain (and to what degree)?

3. Your responsibility for the result

I don’t feel a lot of pressure when I watch Roger Federer play in the Australian Open final. I can feel something anxiety, and I can have a vested interest in the outcome (especially if I have placed a bet on the match). But there is no pressure on me, because I am not responsible for the results. I can expect one result over another, but there is no personal responsibility.

Question no. 3: Are you personally responsible for the result (and to what extent)?

So, with these criteria in mind, let’s review that quarterly update report that you are due to deliver to your domineering boss.

Question 1: Is the result important to you? Unless you are about to quit anyway, yes, I guess the outcome is very important to you.

Question 2: Is the result uncertain? I do not know. It depends on how well prepared you are, what your past experience in situations like this is, the status of your working relationship with your boss, and a host of other variables. Only you know the answer to this one.

Question 3: Are you personally responsible for the result? Yes. This is Shark tank, and you’re on the bench. (Unless, of course, it’s a group report, in which case the pressure spreads. But if you are the team leader, most of the pressure is still on you.)

The difference between stress and pressure is important because, although there are some overlaps, the solutions for each are different.

So the next time you say, “I’m under so much pressure,” ask yourself all three questions. You may not be under so much pressure after all!