A couple of days ago a young man (he said he was 17 years old) sent me an email asking me to help him with a “penis size problem”. He was excited (his words) when he read that I was born and raised among the Karamojong.

He said the size of his penis has affected him his entire life to the point of being depressed and even contemplating suicide. He searched the internet for help and found some sites dedicated to penis enlargement and even sold some equipment that adds inches to the penis. He didn’t have the money to buy one of those kits, but decided to try one of the techniques promoted on many penis enlargement websites.

For months, he has been tying weights to the tip of his penis. He first started out with light weights and now he weighed around 20 pounds. Much of his free time has been consumed by this “exercise”, but he was more frustrated because there was no visible increase in the size of his penis. Could you explain, he wrote, exactly how the Karamojong do the “penis stretch thing”?

I was upset. The last thing I need is some “horny teenager” to disrespect me and insult me ​​and the work I do. I started emailing him but then stopped halfway. What if it’s just a confused young man who feels so insecure about his penis size and seeks help from me? What if I was the last person he would communicate with? After all, he said he was depressed and suicidal.

I deleted that email and instead wrote to him asking him to text me what he was referring to, particularly when he mentions “Karamojong penis size”. My guess was that these must be porn sites, and I’m not going there. I never did, never will.

These are some of the texts he sent me:

“The African Karamojong tribe of northeastern Uganda is known to employ similar penis stretching techniques. From early youth, they hang increasing numbers of circular stone discs from the tips of their penises, and over the course of several years they can achieve penis lengths comparable to Indian Sadhus. In order to better manage their rather monumental and impractical appendages, the Karamojong then tie their penises into knots. “

“Beginning at puberty, men from the Karamojong tribe of northeastern Uganda begin the long and arduous process of ritual penis stretching. A boy will dangle a circular stone disc from the tip of his penis, adding more discs as he Get used to the weight (And the pain!) By the time your child reaches his teens, he can carry up to 20 pounds on his penis, which at that time may be 18 inches or longer.

Under normal circumstances, this would have wrecked my prime time. There is a lot of nonsense in the name of “ancient African rituals” and since there is no one to break these myths, many unsuspecting people take them for granted. Over 90% of Africans are too poor to pay for a computer / internet and many of those with computers / internet access mostly find these kinds of “African myths” amusing, even entertaining. I get these “humor” email forwards all the time.

Do the men of Karamojong have the longest penis? I do not know. But what I do know (and have seen with my eyes) is that Karamojong men generally have penises that go almost to mid-thigh and when they sit on the stool they carry with them, their penises touch the ground / ground (a often draw lines on the floor in response to movements in body language communication). Note that the average height of Karamojong men is about 5’11 -6’1, depending on the part of the Karamoja region where the man comes from.

Karamojong men do not wear clothing, except for a large piece of cloth (ananga) that they wrap around the shoulders. Those who can afford it wear tank tops as T-shirts. Karamojong men / boys also braid their hair or wear headdresses (men and initiated warriors only). They pierce their ears, wear jewelry (specifically copper and iron), and have scar tattoos (showing how many lions one has killed with a spear or how many enemies they have killed in battles / cattle raids). They also carry a small stool, a cane, a spear or an AK 47 assault rifle and a toothpick that they use to brush their teeth and do it all the time (as some people chew gum non-stop). That is all. Without pants. No boxers or underwear. Nothing from the waist down, except for the cowhide strap sandals. This has been the case for thousands of years and this is still the case for approximately 80% of Karamojong men. NAKED BUT NOT SHAMED.

This is what I grew up seeing: everything on your face in plain sight. Nothing tied in knots and hidden. This was what was normal for me and I didn’t see it as “sexual” at all. It was just another part of the human body. Ironically, I instinctively find myself looking away or closing my eyes whenever it seems like someone is about to take their clothes off in public. I find it extremely indecent for someone to be naked in public. But when I go back to Karamoja, for some reason (I can’t fully understand it), I don’t find a naked body in indecent public. Unless someone else points it out to me, I don’t even seem to notice. “Naked but not ashamed” is another topic of another article.

I have brought quite a number of British, Canadian, Belgian and French men and women to Karamoja (mostly related to international development work) and almost all of them have referenced Karamojong’s penis size. Even Ugandans from other “tribes” talk about Karamojong’s penis size, so I guess there must be something unique about them.

However, I am very sure that the men of Karamojong are not even aware that they have “weapons of mass destruction”. I would probably do a mouth cleaning ritual if I said something about “penis size”. They just don’t care about that kind of thing. Like their brothers, the Masai of Kenya / Tanzania, Turkana of Kenya, Suruma of Ethiopia, etc., the Karamojong men are proud warriors who live strictly by social and moral codes determined by the tribe / clan; These social and moral codes do not include being obsessed with penis size.

I grew up with these guys and some of them are my closest friends, I never saw anyone dangle anything from their penis. Never! IT IS NOT TRUE that Karamojong boys hang circular stone discs on the tips of their penises. ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE.

If Karamojong’s penis size is long enough to capture the attention of those who sell penis enlargement equipment and techniques, it has to do with their genes and not with circular stone discs on the tips of their penises. If you don’t believe me, take a trip to Karamoja and see if you see any boys with stones or discs dangling from the tips of their penises. I’m even happy to accompany you, as long as you pay for my airfare.

Here is my request. If there is any young man out there tying weights to his penis because the boys of Karamojong do it to achieve monumental elongated penises, STOP THEM!

Instead, see a sex therapist who can help you deal with penis size issues. I am not a sex therapist, I CANNOT HELP YOU. However, I can tell you that many women don’t give a damn about the size of your penis. Just give them some good loving sex, that’s it. But I tried to say that to the young man who emailed me and he didn’t believe me when I told him that “penis size” is the “problem” for men, not women. I still wanted a bigger and bigger penis. I told you what I just said here, talk to a sex therapist. PLEASE!

It’s not even funny!