Business copywriting is very different from writing poetry and musings.

It is directed and expects a definitive result from the reader. In fact, its real value is judged by these results.

I have been writing commercials for over ten years and I still love it. But sometimes the summary is damn difficult. It may be a poorly written report, or it may be because I’ve done a dozen similar reports before.

But when the clock is ticking, there is no waiting for the muse. It’s about getting down and doing business. When all else fails, I turn to these ten basic steps:

1. Fake it until you make it:

It’s a cliche, I know! But my first step is always to start freewriting. Everything that comes to mind is put on paper. Rude words or luminous day dreams – everyone falls.

When I freewrite, I generally try to write as fast as I can. Sometimes I imagine I’m a computer programmer with 30 seconds to hack into a top security system and stop the world from exploding. Other times I’m popping bubble wrap on my keyboard. You get the idea: all the super goofy situations that make my fingers fly across the keyboard. And about the obstacles in my mind.

What comes out of this is really of no consequence. But it is incredibly energizing. It tricks the mind into thinking that creating something from nothing is a piece of cake. I mean, does he just look at all the words on the screen? Right?! They weren’t there before! Right?! That means I must have created them! Right! I’m Cre-a-Tor!

2. Cool weather:

After the crazy race to save the world, I usually go straight to the fun stuff in the recap. Here I apply the same fast-forward approach as in Step 1, but apply it to a word, phrase, or idea in the summary that I like.

And it gets even more lenient than that.

I try to entertain myself with this word or idea. I freely write things that make me laugh, make me want to research a fact, or make me email a friend or share a cool link.

I look for things that inspire me, whether it’s related to the product, the story behind the product, the industry, whatever, it doesn’t matter. I go as far and off the page as I can, so this involves two to three hours of free writing and doodling on the web. But I limit myself: I wait for something concrete to appear at some point in the process and I stop after three hours.

3. Give me a break:

A while ago I read a great article on how to stop emotional eating. I noticed that one of the tips in the article worked just as well for a goof (since, at least in my case, getting a goof right leads to emotional padding). At this point I usually get out of my head and my space and take a breather.

I go for a walk / I ride my bike into town / I call a friend / I fall asleep / any or all of the above.

I find that walking away from my desk keeps my mind from going into a downward spiral. Because when I’m feeling creatively dead, it’s easy to obsess over my abilities.

I try to avoid the internal conversation where my mind tells me I’m just kidding myself, I suck at my job, I’m not kidding anyone, blah blah blah.

So I go on a study trip where I don’t think about the summary at all. Somehow my brain reflects on everything I’ve been rummaging through in the course of the morning and makes all the necessary connections. Phof. So.

4. That one thing:

Now I am relaxed and inspired. It can be the next day, or the same. It doesn’t matter. Now I have a clear vision of what I am going to say.

And most importantly, I know HOW to say it.

I formulated my only clear and concise message and posted it on the wall. It is the only thing I want to communicate. I do not note the tone of the message. It is now recorded.

5. Become the queen ant:

Now I give birth to as many ideas as possible and put them on the wall. Even if the ideas are garbage, by allowing them to live on a sheet of paper I continue to create. He tells my mind that I can. So I don’t detect anything. I put everything on the wall or on paper.

6. Screw the Client:
This is where I read the summary again. This time, consciously and critically. At this point I screw the client.

I look past all the corporate language that real people don’t care about and discover what they do. I wonder: What would make me act if I were them? No. Really ACT.

7. Kill your babies:

Then I analyze my ideas. Again, consciously and critically. I ask each of them just two questions: Do You Say That One Thing? I think?

8. Polish the diamonds:

At this point I hope to have some ideas that I believe in. It’s time to polish them until they shine.

9. Become deadly rational:

After all this flapping in the wind, walking around and talking to himself, I understand that the client (whom I have decided to fuck) may not be on the same page as me.

So this is where I turn on the corporate speech and usually write a justification. In my rationale I explain my thoughts, ideas, tone, and creative execution.

10. Check the spelling:
Again. Just do it. For me, the only way to check spelling is to print my work and read it out loud. Because I’ve been through hell and I’m back for this fucking recap and I’m not going to let some stupid spelling mistake ruin the pow-wow impact.

That is all. 10 steps to answer the nightmare summary. It works for me every time.